Graham Cochrane (00:02.476)
If you've been battling imposter syndrome, you know how exhausting it is. You work harder, you achieve more, you try to convince yourself, I belong, I'm good enough, I can do this. But deep down, that voice of doubt still won't shut up. And here's the thing, it's not you. You're not the problem. Now, the real reason you haven't beat imposter syndrome has nothing to do with
your ability or your worth or your credentials. And once you see it, it changes everything. So in this episode, I'm going to show you the shift that finally made me feel and believe that I belonged and it will shift for you as well.
Graham Cochrane (00:49.186)
and it can do the same for you.
Graham Cochrane (01:02.414)
So this idea of imposter syndrome is the concept that I feel like an imposter, like I'm faking it, like I have a mask on, I'm playing a part, and my fear is that the mask will fall off and everyone will see me for who I truly am. And we can feel this idea of imposter syndrome in a lot of different spheres of our life. We can feel like an imposter in a relationship, like you're dating someone or.
or married to someone who you feel like is just like spades ahead of you and you don't quite level up and you're trying to play the part like you're equal to him or her. You can feel like an imposter in the workplace. There's a study they actually did where 70 % of white collar professionals, doctors, lawyers, investment bankers, professors feel like and admit to being an imposter, feel like one in the workplace. And these are people with degrees and high paying jobs and important titles.
It's almost like they got the job, they got the promotion, they got the title, and now they go into work every day afraid that the real them will reveal itself and people will find out that I'm just Graham, I'm just a guy. I'm not really CEO material or whatever the role is. There's this fear of being found out, right? So there's that aspect of it, sort of the social relational fear. But there's also this deep level of like,
Am I good enough? Am I good enough? There's a great book called The Seven Primal Questions and the premise is that we each have an unanswered open loop foundational question to our lives that drives a lot of our decision making, a lot of our panic, a lot of our craziness. And one of those questions is, am I good enough or am I enough?
and maybe based off of something in your childhood that was left unanswered and therefore it's an open loop. That is actually my primal question is, I enough? That may not be your primal question, but all of us at some point in our lives, at least every human I've talked to, finds himself in a situation where they're doing something a little bit above their pay grade or a little bit ahead of where they thought they would be or they feel a little, it's like deep waters and I don't,
Graham Cochrane (03:27.032)
feel if I can hang in these waters, and you feel like, I don't know if I'm good enough, I don't know if I've got what it takes, I don't know if I'm gonna make it, I don't know I'm the right person for the job. This comes up in business a lot with people who feel like, I'm not an expert enough to start a YouTube channel on this topic. I'm not credentialed enough to charge a lot of money for my offer. I'm not,
experienced enough or qualified enough or old enough or young enough or attractive enough or slim enough or wise enough whatever the thing is enough to do the thing I feel called to do.
What do you feel called to do right now? Like what is the thing in front of you right now that when you're in a good place and you let yourself get excited about it, part of you lights up.
If I could just do this, if I could build this business, if I could start this family, if I could get married, if I could buy my first home, if I could, what is that thing that when you, if your first gut reaction to, when you imagine the future of that being true, your heart races a little bit, you're excited, the dopamine releases, you smile, you relax. What is that thing for you? That is probably,
the calling that's right in front of you. You're like right on the edge of it. You know it's for you. You know you want it. You know you want to pursue it. But then immediately the follow up is, but I'm not ready. I don't know if I'm good enough to do it. I don't know if it'll work. I don't even know if this is a good idea. Is this crazy? Maybe I shouldn't quit my job and start a business. Maybe.
Graham Cochrane (05:29.984)
That's crazy. Maybe I should just stay in my nine to five. Maybe we shouldn't pull our kids out of school and homeschool them and travel the world on a sailboat and run my business from a laptop. That's for other people. I read about that in CNBC Make It or something. That's not for little of me. I could never do that.
Are you feeling any of this? I don't know what that is for you, but there's something that you're right in front of, you're bumping up against, and then the imposter syndrome, who am I to do this, comes up.
Graham Cochrane (06:05.07)
I was on a VIP call for my 10K offer challenge. I'd run this challenge every month. I help people who come to this event craft and create an irresistible high ticket offer that virtually sells itself, okay? You can imagine if you haven't been on this challenge, you can imagine there's a lot of doubt and insecurity and imposter syndrome. Who am I to charge $10,000 or
$5,000 or $20,000 for my coaching services or my expertise or whatever it might be. Who am I, who am I? So there is a formula and a method to craft a high converting, high priced, irresistible offer, but none of that matters if the person in my challenge doesn't believe that they are worthy or good enough or talented enough or whatever enough.
to have that offer or have that price point. So we have to do a lot of belief work in this challenge. So one of the gentlemen in my most recent challenge last week asked a really good question. He said, Graham, if I'm being honest, I am struggling with imposter syndrome. I don't know if I'm the guy. I don't know if I can do this. What are some practical steps to beat this imposter syndrome? So I love the question for two reasons. One, he believes it's beatable.
And it is. And two, he wanted practical steps. He wanted practical steps. Now, before I share with you what I shared with him, which I think is the most practical, only true way to truly eliminate it.
is let's talk about what most people do to eliminate imposter syndrome. The fixes, right? Number one is become more credentialed. Now they may not say it like this if someone gives you that advice, but functionally this is what they'll say or you believe yourself, which is, okay, I'm just gonna go get my coaching certification or I'm gonna get a degree or I'm gonna get 100,000 followers on Instagram or 100,000 subscribers on YouTube.
Graham Cochrane (08:19.65)
or I'm gonna get featured in Forbes or CNBC or ink magazine or fill in the blank, whatever publication. That's one path. The problem is you do get a little bit of confidence boost when you get some of that stuff because you look at it and you go, that's pretty cool. Not everyone has all those things, but it doesn't last. It's like a shot of confidence. It's a shot of self belief and then it's gone. The second way is just more achievement.
So you get credential side of things. So people see you and you look more impressive. The other is I just need to achieve more. So I just need to have higher paying clients or better clients or better testimonials, or I need to have spoken on that stage or I need to have accomplished this specific level in my industry. There's whatever level of achievement is meaningful to you. think once I do that, then my imposter syndrome will go away.
Can I let you in on a little secret? The people who have the biggest imposter syndrome are the people at the top.
Graham Cochrane (09:30.092)
What do you mean, Graham? The people at the top are so afraid of falling off the top that they become paranoid, they become insecure, because they feel it's quite miraculous and maybe just fortune or luck that they even made it to the top. And the reason they feel that is because a lot of life is like that.
You can be so talented and hardworking, but things have to still line up for you. Not everything. You control a lot of what happens to you in your life. You can certainly set the deck in your favor. But there's so much out of your control, out of my control. Being in the right place at the right time is such a beautiful, mysterious thing. That's a huge reason why I have peace as an entrepreneur because I trust in God. I trust that God is
One of God's characteristics in the Bible is that he is sovereign, meaning he is in charge of everything, meaning he writes the story of our lives, even the hard things. He doesn't cause all bad things, but he allows certain things to happen for a purpose. And there's something redemptive about that if you choose to see it. Much like The Gap and the Gain, beautiful book by my friend Benjamin Hardy and Dan Sullivan.
You can choose to look at the gap in life. Everything is like a gap between where you are and where you want to be. I'm never enough. It's never enough. Or you can choose to look at the gain. Look at how far I've come or look at the positive in this situation. And so I have a lot of peace in life knowing that even though I don't control all things, God is sovereign and is lining all things up. Romans 8.28 says, is working all things together for the good, not of everybody, no offense, but for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.
Learn to love God and learn to love what he loves and Romans 8 28 becomes a reality for you. All things are working together for your good. That doesn't mean all things are working together for what Graham wants or the way Graham wants or when Graham wants it, but I can trust in his goodness in all of it. So I have total peace in whatever the outcome is, however it plays out.
Graham Cochrane (11:41.794)
But there's a reality in which I know a lot of my success wasn't because I'm awesome. If you don't walk with the Lord and you're successful, you know it wasn't because you're that awesome, even though you might be awesome. There's so many people who are the top of their game and they know, this is what haunts them that keeps them up at night. They know, I'm good, but I'm not that good. And so there's this unanswered question, am I good enough? So achievement doesn't solve it because the more you achieve,
It only propagates imposter syndrome. You think it would mitigate it, it only propagates, it only keeps it going, it expands it because now you have this bigger question like, am I really that good? I don't feel like I'm that good. You feel like more of an imposter the higher you climb. And finally, the fix that people try then is self-talk. Positive self-talk. Now I really do believe in the power of words.
I really do believe in the power of what you say to yourself externally and what you say to yourself internally. The story you believe can absolutely shape how you feel. So be very careful with your words. Proverbs 18, I believe, says, death and life are in the power of the tongue. 100 % agree. What we say and what we tell ourselves in our beliefs and thought life absolutely matters.
Graham Cochrane (13:04.546)
But the problem with positive self-talk is what do you do on the days you don't feel like talking to yourself positively? Right? Like positive affirmations are powerful and wonderful on the days you do them and believe them. But what do you do on the days you don't believe them or the days you don't feel positive? All right. Let's go back to that gentleman in the challenge who asked me this beautiful question, Graham.
I have imposter syndrome right now about my business, about charging more. What practical steps can you give me? Do you want to know what I told him? Here was my advice for him and here's my advice for you. Get in a different room.
You gotta get in a totally different room.
By room, I mean a lot of things. But functionally, I mean your environment.
Think about this, you are on the edge of your assignment and doubt comes up and creeps up and screams the loudest when, when you were on the edge of your assignment. When you know, I gotta do this. When you know, I think I can do this. That is when doubt creeps up the most. And so that's inevitable. That means you're human. There's nothing wrong with you if you're doubting your ability. I'm not saying you have to get to a place where you never doubt your ability. I don't think that ever goes away. I don't think.
Graham Cochrane (14:28.75)
the seeds of imposter syndrome ever go away. So how do you eliminate it forever? You have to surround yourself with other people who are crazy enough to believe that the thing you want to do is possible. And not only possible for some people, but possible for you. You got to be in a room, virtually or physically,
Graham Cochrane (14:52.462)
where you're drinking the Kool-Aid and the Kool-Aid is good. The Kool-Aid is positive. The Kool-Aid is expansive. My word for the year this year, and I haven't been a word of the year kind of guy, but last two years in January, I didn't even ask for it. The Lord said, here is your word for the year. He like highlighted a word. So the word for the year for me this year was expand.
In the Hebrew, God took me to a couple passages. Specifically, the Hebrew word is rabach. And it means to expand, it means to multiply. King David writes about it in the Psalms. He says, Lord, you have set me in a wide place, in a rabach place. And so it can be wide, wide open. So my world this year has expanded.
You need to be in a room that is expansive, where the people have expansive thinking, they expand your thinking. When you shrink down to, don't know, maybe I'll just set my goal to this, they say, no, no, you're capable of so much more. And you may not believe it personally when they say it, but when they say it over and over again and enough people say it and you see other people chasing the things that you value and other people dreaming the big dreams that you dream,
you start to drink the Kool-Aid, meaning you start to believe this is normal.
Graham Cochrane (16:22.86)
Jen Rohn, I think Jen Rohn said it first, that you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
Graham Cochrane (16:32.631)
So who do you spend the most time with? Who are the five people right now you spend the most time with? Is it a spouse? Is it a friend? Is it a roommate?
Graham Cochrane (16:44.718)
Is it a brother? Is it a sister? Is it a co-worker? Is it a business partner? You are becoming them.
their results in life, the quality of their relationships, the quality of their bank account, quality of their purpose in life, quality of their mental health, that's pretty much a predictor of what your life's gonna look like. So, do you like that? Do you like that trajectory? Or do you need to not, I'm not saying sever ties with these people, some people you do need to sever ties with.
Some people are absolutely toxic and you just keep letting yourself stay in that situation. But I'm saying bigger than that, like many of you might have my story where you were in a community of friends that are all nine to five W2 employees, which is totally fine and totally normal. And you might've been too. And then guess what? You decided or felt called to or had this crazy idea to start a business. And now you're a business owner and you work from home or you have remote work flexibility or you're
going to conferences or you're listening to podcasts or you're coaching clients and you're dreaming of like, wait, not only can I work from home, but I could make $10,000 a month. You know what, I hit $10,000 a month. You know what, there's people making $100,000 a month. Yeah, I wanna shoot for that. And your friend group starts to say, why are you getting greedy?
And then you're like, am I greedy?
Graham Cochrane (18:20.02)
Or they'll say things like, nobody can make $100,000 a month. And then you'll say, what? I'm pretty sure Graham makes way more than that and he helps his clients make that. And I've seen other people make that. But maybe they're the exception to the rule. Maybe normal people like me can't. I don't know what they might be telling you, either explicitly like this is bad or implicitly when they laugh at it or minimize it or just.
ask questions about it that might make you feel like, yeah, am I stupid for thinking this? This was my world. I moved to Tampa in 2009 with my wife and my pregnant wife, very pregnant wife, to help some friends start a church. Some of my best friends in the world. And we had great times and hard times. Planning a church is one of the hardest things you'll ever do, by the way. It's like starting a business only harder and you don't make any money. And so...
One of the things that happened during that period of time was that I lost two jobs in a span of 10 months and God gave me this idea of starting a business which I was terrified of. I didn't want to start a business. I was like, I can't do that. Total imposter syndrome. But I started a business and it was rough at first. I think I made $10,000 in my first year. I made $60,000 in my second year. So it took me 24 months to get to $60,000 a year which is only $5,000 a month by the way. Ah, I was slow.
But it was starting to grow. And as it was growing, I was growing. As it was evolving, I was evolving. I was developing into the person that God really had me to be. I didn't know what was possible. And all of a sudden, my friend group in that church, a lot of them just didn't know, we didn't really know what to talk about. Like they were like, why are you pursuing more? Like, why are you going to this conference? Why can't you be more involved here at the church? I'm like, I am involved. I'm giving you almost 20 hours a week, but I'm also building my business. And we just...
There was no harm, there was no foul, we just grew apart because they didn't understand me. And I started to feel crazy. Am I crazy? Am I wrong for wanting more? And wanting to pursue more, wanting to reach more people. Graham, isn't 10,000 people on your YouTube channel enough? I'm like, no, everybody needs to know this. Everybody needs to hear this. And so there was a point in my business where I needed to get in a new room.
Graham Cochrane (20:40.024)
So I joined a mastermind.
My first mastermind was only five people and it was actually an informal mastermind. It wasn't even a paid mastermind. was inside of a coaching program, it more of a course, but there was like a Facebook group element to it and a few of the people in the Facebook group identified some of us that had become successful in this course because of our testimonials and we started a private chat and the five of us decided to meet together once a week for a few months. It only lasted a few months.
to mastermind together. And it was so life-giving because these people were, they huge dreams like me, totally different industries and niches and they were very different personalities than me. One guy was in Chinese medicine, one girl was a dating coach, one guy was a fitness instructor. They were all so different, but they all dreamt bigger. And so I felt less crazy and less of an imposter. And I felt more like, can't, not only can I do this,
But it is a good thing to want to grow and expand and I will do this. And in fact, I need to do this. There are people that need me right now to become the best, fullest version of myself in order to change their life. And that's not narcissism, that's not like hero complex, that's just I'm called to serve people and I can serve them better. I can serve more people, I can serve them deeper. I can become more so I can serve more. And that's one of the first like,
jolts of energy I got was from that little mini mastermind.
Graham Cochrane (22:17.614)
I've since been in multiple masterminds ranging from free to $15,000 to $50,000 to paying to be privately coached and be in a small inner circle of mastermind for over $300,000. I have led my own masterminds. have my own mastermind. Masterminds, paid communities,
are a huge way to beat imposter syndrome. That is a different room. Now, that's not the only kind of way to get into a different room. Another way is to just go to different events. Go to conferences, go to one-off events, go hear somebody speak, go to a TEDx talk, right, a TEDx event. Go be in a room with people who are thinking big, dreaming big, who have energy, who have excitement.
Get that rush of like, my gosh, there's other people out there. I'm not crazy. I can do this.
You can also start your own room. Create a peer group of people who want what you want, who want to run hard with you. Get people to run the race alongside you and commit to meeting once a week, every week and support each other. Share your win of the week. Share the challenge you currently have. Get some feedback. Hot seat yourself. Pray for each other. Share ideas with each other. Connect each other to other people. But get in a different
room. You need physical rooms or virtual rooms. You need peers or mentors. All of these can work.
Graham Cochrane (24:04.398)
If you really, the fastest way to level up is mentorship. 100%, you'll time collapse, like find a mentor, pay the mentor, someone who's done what you wanna do, who's gone where you wanna go, whose worldview and teaching style you connect with, and just pay the person. Like, you could hire me, I could be your mentor, this is what I do for a living, but it doesn't have to be me, but find somebody, pay them to be in their world, either direct one-on-one mentorship or get in their group coaching program, but
get in their room to sit under their mentorship, you will time collapse. I promise you, not only will you reach your goals faster, but for today's conversation, you will eliminate imposter syndrome forever. As long as you're in a room with people that dream big, think big, and will spur you on, you will never have imposter syndrome again. When it creeps up, it gets smashed down. And it doesn't matter how you're feeling, it doesn't matter if you're in a good head space, the room and the environment you're in will destroy it, and you'll be in great shape.
Graham Cochrane (25:17.166)
So let me ask you.
Do you need to get in a different room? Does this resonate with you or are like, Graham, I need to be in a different room?
Graham Cochrane (25:31.403)
If yes,
What are you gonna do this week to get in a different room?
If I put a gun to your head and said, must get in a different, better room this week, what would you do? What will you do?
Graham Cochrane (25:50.614)
Again, examples might be, find an event that you should go to and buy a ticket, book a hotel, book the plane ticket and go. Two.
Join a mastermind, join a paid community, join a group coaching program. Three, find some peers in your space who are on the similar journey with you, who wanna grow and have the same values you have and start that group with them and say, even if it's just two other people, let's commit to supporting each other.
Graham Cochrane (26:23.274)
One option, if you haven't already, is you can come to my 10K Offer Challenge. The next one, dates are available, just go to the link below, 10KOfferChallenge.com. This is a week long group, especially if you join the VIP. Get a VIP ticket, like don't play games with a general admission. I put it there for people that maybe just can't swing it, just get a VIP ticket. Because then what's gonna happen is you double the amount of time with me and the group, and you get group coaching an hour before we go live.
It's an insane deal. I can literally help you with your business in real time. But even then, that won't last forever. But that might be enough of an oxygen boost to make you realize, you're not crazy. You're not an imposter. You do belong. And you do, by the way. The thing you want to do, the thing you feel called to do, the thing you're right on the precipice of, you're meant to do. And if you're meant to do it, you will be equipped to do it.
I love the phrase, God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. If you feel called to something, you can better believe, especially if you pray for God's aid and assistance, He can help you. You can be resourced. You will develop. You can become the person who can do the thing. None of us are born with the skills. I knew nothing about business when I started. I knew nothing about
being a six figure business owner when I wanted to grow to that. I knew nothing about being a seven figure business owner when I grew. I've generated eight figures of income online. There's no way I was ready when I started, but I believed that I belonged because I had other people saying, yeah, Graham, you belong and I'll carry you when you feel weak. And even if I'm not speaking to you directly, I'm gonna share my insights and it's gonna inspire you and it's gonna rewire your small brain.
your small dreams, your small thinking brain, and you're think bigger, you're gonna play a bigger game, this is the power of getting in a different room. So imposter syndrome, it's not your fault, but the way to eliminate it forever is to get in a different and better room. Take a step this week to do it. It's the best chance you have at reaching your goals and eliminating imposter syndrome. If this resonated with you, my friend, let me know in a comment below.
Graham Cochrane (28:49.42)
if you're watching on YouTube, of course. And if you're listening to Apple Podcasts or Spotify, I appreciate you. I really, really do. You can always message me anytime on Instagram at TheGrahamCochran. Let me know that this episode resonated with you and let me know there as well what step you're gonna take to get into a different room. Have an amazing week. Go make some incredible friends. Uplevel your community. Uplevel your mentorship. You'll uplevel your life and your business. I'll see you soon.
