Graham Cochrane (00:03.458)
How do you become an irresistible coach? If you look around your industry, you're gonna notice something interesting. Some coaches consistently get results, steady referrals, and clients who keep coming back, even though they're not the most experienced, the loudest online, or the cheapest option. Meanwhile, a lot of really smart, caring coaches struggle to stand out or wonder if they're even worth what they're charging.
So in today's episode, I want to show you what exactly separates those coaches, not marketing tactics or credentials, but how they show up inside the coaching relationship itself. And I think once you understand this, it changes how you coach, how clients experience you, and why they choose you in the first place.
Graham Cochrane (01:20.974)
So if you've ever asked yourself, am I good enough to charge more? Why would someone choose me in my niche or industry over someone else? How do I stand out in a crowded coaching space? How do I create real transformation in my clients lives, not just advice? do I become referable without asking for referrals? Maybe.
This is the big question we want to answer today is how do I become the kind of coach that's irresistible? The kind of coach that people feel good paying for and after experiencing our coaching and after experiencing our coaching cannot wait to recommend us to others. Now wouldn't that be amazing? Wouldn't it be amazing if you stood out amongst all the other coaches in your industry?
without really having to try hard. If people flocked to you rather than you chasing them down. If people who experienced your coaching had incredible transformation, told their friends and brought you an endless stream of prospects. How would that make your life feel? Wouldn't that be incredible? It's possible.
And what I want to share with you today are three things that you need to be actually doing with your clients that will create this perpetual state of people coming to you. And more importantly, the people you do work with getting the real transformation, which is what I think you want. I think you have a heart to serve people. I think you have a heart to actually change someone's life, not just make money. I charge high fees for my coaching.
Not just because I want lots of money, but primarily because I'm worth it and the results I give people are worth it. And if you ask my clients, they'll tell you it's worth every single penny I've paid Graham and more. But there's a way to make your coaching worth it to people where they are not only happy to pay your fees, so much so that you can increase your fees, but they will tell other people you need to work with so and so and it's worth every penny that she's charging.
Graham Cochrane (03:39.692)
This is possible for you. And today we're gonna talk about that. So what's interesting is it doesn't matter what industry you're in, it doesn't matter what method or modality you use for creating clients or actually doing the coaching. There are three ingredients that you need inside of your coaching that will create these type of client experiences and that will lead to the type of referral source that we're looking for that makes you have this sort of aura around you where
People are like, what is it about her? What is it about him that everyone that works with him or her just has these incredible results? I gotta work with him. I gotta work with her. Even though there's people that have bigger followings, maybe have been around longer, there's something about him, there's something about her that from what I'm hearing is amazing. And the results she's getting, the results he's getting are amazing. I wanna work with him. There's three ingredients that you need to put into your coaching that you can put into your coaching today on your next coaching call that will make this possible. Okay, you ready?
And in case you don't really know who I am, just for some quick context, this is not just made up theory. This is 16 years of coaching coming out. Like me boiling down what I've done in two industries with musicians and with business owners, because I have two different worlds. I've coached hobby musician, that space, and I've coached business owner space. And I bring the same three ingredients into my coaching for both businesses, and it works. So this is 16 years of proving it.
And this is what makes me irresistible to my clients. This is what makes me stand out. And this is what's allowed me to generate tens of millions of dollars online without having to go out and beg people to work with me. And it's going to work for you as well. right. Ingredient number one. And the great thing is they all start with the letter E's. This will be easy for you to remember. The first one is empathy. Empathy is a key that will unlock so many doors for you in general in life.
Empathy will help you in your relationships. It'll help you in the workplace. But it'll certainly help you with coaching. If you feel like your clients don't open up to you, if you feel like they don't feel fully understood, if you feel like you end up jumping to solutions too fast in a coaching session, it's probably because you're not practicing empathy. empathy is
Graham Cochrane (06:06.006)
when you identify with what they are feeling. So this is so important and this is one of the ones I had to learn the hard way. I assume that if someone's paying me for coaching, they want advice, they want solutions, they want help. And so I always want as a default to jump into solutions, advice and help. But what I have found
is that what people want and need before your solutions and advice and advice and help is they want to feel seen, they want to feel heard, they want to feel understood, and empathy is what opens up that door. People don't pay for answers first, they pay to feel understood. They are experiencing a lot of pain, they're stuck, they're frustrated,
so much so that they are willing to invest in themselves by hiring you. And so the first thing you should never do is jump in and solve their problem. When you get on a call and they present a problem, the first thing you should do is empathize with where they're at. Hey, I understand how that must feel. It sounds to me like you're feeling this, right? Now,
Empathy is not agreeing with everything they're feeling or everything they're saying. It's not agreement. It's just an accurate understanding of what they're communicating to you. They don't want another mom or dad or wife or husband or boyfriend or girlfriend or brother or friend to say, you shouldn't feel that way. Well, that doesn't make any sense. That's silly. You don't have to feel that way. Like that's not what people want. They want to...
know that they're not crazy. And so what gives you a lot of trust with your clients is immediately saying, hey, it makes total sense what you're feeling. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. It sounds to me like you're feeling X, Y, and Z, and you just mirror back what they said, but that involves actually you listening to what they said. So you can communicate that back. When you do this, this creates so much trust by naming and acknowledging what they're feeling.
Graham Cochrane (08:24.704)
So here's what you can do when you're in a coaching session to create these empathic moments, right? Reflect language back to them. Reflect back words they're saying, feelings they're saying. So they're using you as a mirror. Like, yeah, that is exactly what I said. That is how I feel. If you're really a pro level coach, when you hear what they're feeling, if you can name the fear beneath the problem, that creates a lot of empathy and trust.
So I hear you saying you're feeling this. I wonder if this resonates with you. Is it potentially a fear of X, Y, and Z? Would that be accurate? So now they feel that you empathize with them because you heard them, understood them, and you're taking it another level deeper. You're not trying to solve their problem. You're trying to actually get to the root of what is the fear underneath what you're feeling, right? If you can do that, and that might not be the right fear, but by throwing out an option,
you can maybe land on what the fear is. I sometimes try to do this with clients and I don't always get it right. I'll ask, hey, it sounds like to me you're feeling X, Y, and Z.
I'll maybe ask them, what do you think is your biggest fear underneath all of this? And I'll let them see if they can come up with it on their own. I might posit a suggestion if they're not coming up with it and we'll try it on for size. And they might go, that's exactly what I'm afraid of. Or they might say, no, that's not it. Okay, no problem. I'm trying to do the work of seeing them closely, not just seeing them from what they're projecting, but seeing deeper into their soul. Again, this is what makes people love you as a coach is slowing down to see them.
And I will say this, a big part of what empathy is doing in a coaching experience is slowing down. Not just slowing them down, but slowing yourself down instead of performing.
Graham Cochrane (10:16.366)
Have you ever noticed, if you've ever been in a coaching call with a client or in a group call, that somebody asks a question and you immediately want to look good? So you want to have a good answer, a smart answer. So you immediately go to performance. What do I say and how do I say it so that they feel really good about the money they spent or they feel like I am really smart and it validates their decision to invest in me?
You ever felt that? Like your brain wants to go there? We want to slow down. We don't want to go to performance. We want to go to empathy first. And empathy is a way to slow down and truly listen. One of the things you'll realize as an elite coach is that people are not paying for your answers as much as they think they are. They're really paying to be seen, to be understood, to feel like they're not crazy. There is an exhale
that comes in their spirit when they feel like they have the right coach who gets them. I had a coach who I don't even know if he gave me any advice. But I felt so seen and understood and safe with him that I looked forward to every single call we had and felt like the money was well worth it because he was one of the only people in our time together that I felt like I could be honest.
and be myself and feel like, I'm not a crazy person. And I left with so much peace and confidence in who I was just because he listened with deep empathy. Isn't that interesting? So I don't think empathy is the only thing that you need to give someone for a powerful coaching relationship to become an irresistible coach, but it is the very first step and it is so important because when you show empathy right, the client goes, this coach gets me.
And when your client feels like you get them, what comes next is going to be so much more impactful. And they already feel like they got their money's worth. This alone will separate you from 90 % of coaches by empathizing deeply, validating, I hear how you feel, that makes so much sense. Let's unpack maybe why you're feeling this way, what's underneath it, what may be caused that, that slowing down and seeing them deeply.
Graham Cochrane (12:44.246)
You don't even have to have advice. You don't even have to have a know the answer to the question. You don't even have to tell them to do something. You are giving them so much value by holding a space for them to be seen, felt, known, and understood. Got it? Empathy is ingredient number one to becoming an irresistible coach. Now let's move on to one of my favorite and one of my superpowers, and that is encouragement.
Graham Cochrane (13:12.268)
People are starved for encouragement. People are walking around in a desert and they need your encouragement like someone in a desert needs a glass of water. Even a small four ounce glass of water in a desert can feel like the greatest medicine, meal, whatever that person's ever gotten.
because in a desert they're starved and they're parched. Just like that is true. A little bit of water goes a long way to a thirsty man in the desert. A little bit of encouragement goes a long way in a world that is thirsty for encouragement because the world beats hope and joy and encouragement out of us. It's a discouraging world a lot of times. the world is what you choose to look at. You can look at the world and say, it's super discouraging out there. Look at this, look at this, look at this problem.
That's not a world problem, that is a vision problem. Just side tangent, if you feel like the world is a discouraging place, it's because of what you're choosing to look at and how you're choosing to look at it. I'm not saying there aren't hard, awful, discouraging things out there, but your world is largely created by what you choose to focus on. And there is so much more good happening in our world than there is bad. But if you don't look at it, then that's what's going to shape your reality. The same is true for your clients.
Your clients are discouraged and they are seeing the pain in the world around them, but they're really coming to you for the pain in the world inside of them and they are discouraged and they need encouragement. The word encouragement literally means to put courage in to somebody. So when your clients feel stuck, if they're doubting themselves, which more often than not they are, if oftentimes they have felt that they're leaving sessions,
clear about some things they need to do, but still down and discouraged, you need to work on your encouragement. Encouragement restores belief.
Graham Cochrane (15:19.47)
And belief is the most powerful part of life change, right? The life change formula is as simple as this. It's a four-part formula. I learned this from one of my coaches, Julia Woods. Belief, thoughts, feelings, actions. What we believe affects what we think about all day long. What we think about all day long affects how we feel and how we feel affects what we do.
So if you want to change what people are doing in their lives to get results, you got to change how they feel. The way you change how they feel is you got to change what they think about all day. And the way you change what they think about all day is you change what they believe at a fundamental level. And the way to change what they believe at a fundamental level is to encourage them to believe something differently. So this is not hype man or hype woman. Your job is not to hype them. It is to remind them who they are. It's to remind them what is true. It's to remind them what is actually
more true than what they're believing. One of the questions that one of my coaches, again, Julia, I'll go back to Julia, always posed to me that I thought was so powerful was, okay, you say this is what you're feeling, you say this is what's going on, that might be true. But she'd ask me, what else could be as true, if not more true than what you're currently believing? Just a great question to get people curious. And that might open up some dialogue for you with your clients. But what you wanna do here
is in your coaching, and I do this even in these episodes of the show here on YouTube and on the podcast, I'm coaching you in this moment. This is a coaching relationship. It's just one way. I don't get to hear back in this moment what you're feeling, but I view my role in this content the same as I would view my role as a one-on-one coach of yours, is I wanna make sure that I empathize with where you're at.
And then I want to encourage you. So every piece of content I'm doing, I want to make sure you leave encouraged. You leave believing that something is possible, that more is possible for you, that there is hope out there. And so your job, I believe your number one job as a coach is to believe in your client's ability to win. You have to believe it first and then you have to speak that into their life so that they believe that they can win.
Graham Cochrane (17:40.268)
They believe change is possible. They believe that things can change, that things can get better, that they are capable of more than they are experiencing right now, that it won't always be like this. Again, we're not giving advice yet. We're just speaking into them that I believe the best is yet to come for you. So I will do this with clients where they're frustrated.
Maybe they haven't hit their revenue goal or they they didn't fill their challenge or they didn't convert as many people into their high ticket offer or Whatever it is. Something's not working. I empathize with the right they're at And then I encourage them I let them know how much I believe That they can do this that I believe that they could have incredible results that even if they feel stuck They're not gonna be stuck forever. It's not always gonna be like this. I mean how
How many people in their lives are speaking like this to them? Honestly, like how many people in your life are speaking like this to you? That believe that the best is truly yet to come for you and that it won't always be like this. Your clients are suffering from a lack of confidence oftentimes. And before they can have their own confidence, they will need to borrow your confidence. They will need to borrow your belief in them.
so they can then eventually generate their own. this make sense? So what to emphasize when you are encouraging your clients is call out progress that they can't see. Everyone is making progress. It's just not usually as big as they'd like or as fast as they'd like or in the ways they would like to see progress. So if your client comes to you and says, I haven't hit my whatever, whatever goal, call out the progress they have made.
You know what, Susie, I know you haven't hit $50,000 a month yet, like we're gonna get you there and you're disappointed, but look at what you have done. You launched your high ticket offer. You've pitched it to multiple people. You've gotten consistent with your messaging online. You launched that new podcast. You've done this, you've done that. Call out the progress they can't see. This is somewhat frustrating to them at first because they're like, I know what you're doing, but this isn't the goal I really wanted, but they still want it.
Graham Cochrane (20:00.952)
They still crave it because most people are hard on themselves and they will not celebrate their own baby progress because they will be hard on themselves for not hitting the goal that they really want. So even though they might resist it, they secretly crave it because everyone wants to be praised for what they've done. They've just moved on past those things because they're shooting for the bigger goal, the bigger prize. So celebrate the progress they can't see or they refuse to look back on.
If they had a failure or a perceived failure, reframe failure as data. Hey, so you didn't sell any of your high ticket offer on your most recent event. That's not a fail. We learned something. We learned that the messaging didn't work. We learned that we need more people in the room. We learned that we need some testimonials before. We learned, we learned, we learned.
No one's going to do this and they certainly are. They're going to rehearse the failure over and over again and label that as failure. But when you can come in with an unbiased objective mind and say, I know that's disappointing empathy. This is not a reflection of who you are encouragement. In fact, it's just a data point. This is an encouraging thing that they need to hear. And then this is so powerful is show them what's already working.
Show them what is working. Remind them what is working. Remind them that it's not all or nothing. They haven't achieved their goal, therefore everything's a failure. Life is not that black or white. It's not on or off. It's a lot messier and when we're in a transformation journey, which we all are, and that's why you hire a coach is to help you transform to get to the next level of whatever you want help with.
Your job as a coach is to remind them this is a messy process and you are in process. So if you're in process, you're gonna have some things that are not where you want them to be, but you have also made a lot of progress already. Look how far you've come. And let's celebrate that and let me acknowledge that. Okay. This is not a one and done thing. You don't just give someone encouragement like you give a thirsty man in the desert a glass of water and say, there you go, you had water. No, this is...
Graham Cochrane (22:16.49)
an ongoing every single coaching session thing. My clients come back to me even after massive wins and they can get discouraged and my job is to re-encourage them, put more courage back into them. It's like breathing life back into them. It's just giving them a bit more of a boost so they can go back out there and continue to do the work that they need to do. When you encourage your clients properly, they walk out of a session feeling
Maybe I can actually do this. Like I feel like I can do this. And now this is what's so powerful. They associate hope with you. They have hope that change is possible, that change is closer than they think. And they associate that hope with you and your coaching. That's such a powerful feeling. A great example of this is Dave Ramsey. He is a financial
talk show host on the radio and has a large financial education company. And whether you like him or not, it doesn't really matter. One of the things that he's so accurately understood over the last 30 plus years of running his business is that he's not selling financial education. He's not selling helping people get out of debt and build wealth. He's selling people hope. Because people come to him hopeless, discouraged, overwhelmed with
$50,000 worth of debt, $100,000 worth of debt, $20,000 worth of debt. And they feel like they're, it's very shameful. Money is a very emotional thing. And so people who are in debt and know wealth, there's a lot of shame and embarrassment and guilt that comes with it. I should already know how to do this. I should have figured this out. I'm a smart person. Why am I in debt? And so they feel super discouraged and shameful. And he gives people not only a path out of their debt,
but he gives people hope. And oftentimes what his calls with these radio callers go sound like is, you got this. You do this, this and this, you're gonna be out of debt in the next 12 to 18 months. And then you're gonna have your house paid off in 36 months. And then you're gonna have this, your kids are gonna be okay, you're gonna have retirement. He doesn't try to sell them the best strategy that's really complex, it gives them the highest ROI. That's not actually what people want. They want hope.
Graham Cochrane (24:41.686)
And the reason people love Dave Ramsey, who love him, is because he actually gives them hope. He gives them a... He's a simplifier too, which is super powerful. We'll talk about that in a second. But he gives people hope and he's always known that and he's always said that. And that's why it's not about the best strategy for him or the most politically correct strategy. It's all about, I give people hope and that's what people need. And that's why people are...
fanatical about Dave Ramsey when they get on the Dave Ramsey train. They are fanatical because he is the first person that injected hope into their lives. And there's other financial advisors and financial talk show guys and gals and financial authors who give you great advice, but they don't give you hope. They just give you a bunch of stuff that makes you feel like you're further behind. And they're like, well, we're smarter than Dave Ramsey. He's an idiot. Well, it's not about whether he's an idiot or not. It's about whether...
he gives hope and encouragement to people or not. And do you give hope and encouragement or do you just give people lot of good technical advice? That's not what people want. They want hope. They want empathy and they want hope. Empathy and encouragement go a long way. So those are the first two. Empathy and encouragement. Now let's talk about one of the most powerful things that will set you apart as a coach. This is the third and final ingredient to make you an irresistible coach and that is empowerment. So we've given our client empathy. We've given them encouragement.
Now we give them empowerment. This one is a game changer and it was one of the hardest ones for me to learn. this, let's just, maybe this will make sense. This might seem like a random point, but let's talk about you as the coach for a second. If you get into coaching, there's a very high chance that you are an insecure person. And so you want people to think that you're great. And so you tend to become the person that likes to give advice
and help people and serve people so that people like you and need you and want your help and now you're valuable and you can get security from that. Now if that gets too close to home, welcome to the club. I'm just as insecure as you. And so I love giving advice. I love being needed and wanted. It makes me feel confident. And so it helps fill my insecurity bucket and makes me feel like I'm amazing.
Graham Cochrane (26:59.234)
The problem with that is that it's very selfish and then we can use and abuse our clients to fill our own bucket and make us feel good about ourselves when really we're there to serve them. Ironically also by wanting to give advice and feel needed we're actually hurting our client. We're disempowering them by making them feel like they need us and they need every call. Our goal as a coach should make ourselves as
unnecessary as possible for our clients' results. And what I mean by that is we shouldn't make it that we are this guru that they need. We should make it in such a way that our clients feel empowered by our advice and the way we coach them, that they feel like they can actually go do the thing and they don't need us. And I that feels scary because won't they no longer feel like it was worth spending a lot of money on our coaching services if they feel like they don't need us?
The truth is it's the opposite. People will have felt very good about spending tens of thousands of dollars with you if you give them this feeling of empowerment. Oftentimes, if you find that your clients depend on you too much or you feel like you're carrying them,
or you feel like they're not actually changing, it might be because you've created some codependency. Irresistible coaches don't create dependency, make sure my clients need me, they create agency, empowerment. Right? Your goal is to make your client feel and believe at their core that they can change and they have everything inside of them to do it. They don't need to talk to you.
They don't need to talk to their mom. They don't need another magic tool. They have everything they need to change. So some of this, this is kind of where encouragement and empowerment mingle a little bit. You encourage people to say, believe you've got this. But then you need to empower them with the right frameworks, the right tools, the right principles.
Graham Cochrane (29:14.552)
that they can run with so they don't have to check in with you every five minutes. Does this make sense? So a big part of your job as a coach and what makes you irresistible is by bringing clarity and courage, clarity and courage. So the first step of a coach is to bring clarity into, okay, here's the problem, here's where you wanna go, you're stuck, let's figure out exactly what is necessary and make the path insanely simple.
Insanely simple. If you can simplify the path between where they are, where they want to go, shine light on it, illuminate the path so they go, I just need to do these four things or these three things or go here first, then here first, then here second. I get it. If you can bring clarity, you've already won half the battle and they already feel like they've gotten their money's worth. Then if you can add courage to that clarity where they feel like I can do this.
Because knowing the path is one thing, but believing they can go on the path and step into the adventure, as it were, is another thing. And so one way to do this is to give people tools, give them frameworks, not just advice. Frameworks are, I think of them as a tool.
If you have a bunch of nails that need to be hammered into a wall and you're like, I don't have a hammer, I need to get these nails hammered, do you have a hammer? I say, yes, I have a hammer, let me come hammer them for you. I can come hammer those nails for you. That's giving advice. Boom, boom, boom, I just dole out some advice. And now that job is done. Thank you so much, Graham, thanks for hammering those nails for me. But what do we do when there's more nails for them to hammer tomorrow? They still don't have a hammer. now they have to call me up again.
and I dish out some more advice, I go hammer it again. This is not creating agency and empowerment for your client. This is creating dependency where they literally are depending on you. So instead of me giving out advice all the time, what I wanna give my clients are frameworks which are ways to think about a problem and solve a problem that they can own the framework, know the framework, and then they can go use the framework as their own tool. This is the difference between me hammering the nail for you and me giving you a hammer of your own.
Graham Cochrane (31:30.486)
Right? So, the first question is, do you have frameworks?
IP, intellectual property. I have created dozens of frameworks that I teach my clients and I give them so that they can then go use them to solve the problems in the future. For example, I have frameworks around how to create irresistible high ticket offers. I have frameworks around how to create content that attracts your ideal client on YouTube. I have frameworks around how to create frameworks, which is kind of deep.
I have frameworks around how to structure a group coaching program. I have frameworks around how to sell high ticket offers without pressuring or convincing or twisting anybody's arm. I create frameworks, I teach them the framework so that they can then take the framework and go use it in perpetuity. This is empowering. Does this make sense? So now a client feels like not only do I know what to do, I actually believe that I can go and do it myself. That's powerful.
That's powerful. When you can combine nuanced specific advice with principles and frameworks that they can run with and run those plays on their own without you, game over as a coach. You've now taught a man to fish instead of giving him a fish, right? That's the phrase, give a man to fish, excuse me, give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime.
Giving a framework and a principle to your clients is teaching the man to fish. And that is actually exactly what they pay you for. You think it would make them not need you anymore, but ironically it'll make them need you more because they will realize being around you only empowers them more. And so they're gonna wanna come back for more and more and more. Even if they don't, if let's say you're six months or your year coaching is up, they will have felt like they got way more than their money's worth and they will sing your praises. They will give you an incredible testimonial. They'll refer people to you.
Graham Cochrane (33:32.834)
And that is a powerful tool for you to get more clients. So give frameworks, not just advice.
Ask better questions. Instead of giving answers, ask questions that create decisions. What does this look like? This looks like them saying, hey, what do think I should do in this situation? And instead of you telling them what you think they should do, you say, well, let me ask you this, X, Y, and Z. And when you ask a question that makes them go, yeah, in that case, I think I would probably do this, you are empowering them to come to their own conclusions where they realize, I don't have to ask Graham for advice for everything.
because he actually believes in me enough and respects me enough to show me that I actually have all the insight I need inside of me. I just need a powerful question so that I can actually come to a conclusion. So a lot of times asking powerful questions helps them come to their own decisions, which is empowering. And help them leave sessions knowing exactly what to do next. So let's land here. When you're done with a session, whether it's one-on-one or a group,
You always want people to clarify and articulate to you what is their next step.
So I'll do this, I'll even do this in my challenge. Like this week I'm running my 10K offer challenge, which is a live coaching experience. And I'll ask attendees in the challenge after a session, what is your big takeaway for today? And the reason I ask this is multifaceted, but the number one reason is because we've covered a lot and it's all good advice and good information. And I taught them some cool frameworks, but all that matters is that they filter their experience.
Graham Cochrane (35:16.022)
and get clear on the one thing that they need to do next. If I can get them there, I know they're gonna take action and get results, and I know they're gonna be the people in the challenge that win. Otherwise, they're gonna have a bunch of people that say, wow, this was a great thing, Graham taught a lot of great stuff. That doesn't actually help them. We don't learn from our experiences, we learn from reflecting on our experiences.
I learned that from Rich Litvin years ago. We don't learn from our experiences, we learn from reflecting on our experiences. So one of the greatest gifts you can give your clients is to force them to reflect on their experience in real time. And you do this at the end of a session. Hey, after everything we covered today, what is your number one takeaway, the thing you need to focus on in the next week or the next 30 days? Force them to think about it right there on the spot while it's fresh. Because you probably covered a lot, but when they can decide, you know what, I need to focus on
my one sentence heaven statement for my offer. That's what I need to do next. need to that really dialed in. Great, now go do that. What has this done? This has done two important things. Number one, it's given them insane clarity on what to do next. They now leave with an action step, which makes the coaching worth even more than what it was. But two, they decided on that action step. You didn't give it to them as the coach.
They decided. So now they're accountable to themselves, not to you, but to themselves. This is an empowering thing. You are teaching them and guiding them on how to think for themselves, be a CEO of their own company or a CEO of their life, if you're doing any kind of life or health coaching or relationship coaching, and make decisions for themselves. And that's what we need. Like, I don't want to make decisions for my daughters forever. I have a 16-year-old and a 14-year-old. I don't want to make decisions for them forever. And I don't even make decisions for them now.
I'm already in a season with them where I'm coaching them on how to make their own decisions because at some point I'm not gonna be there every single day telling them what to do. And if I don't empower them to be young women that can make decisions for themselves and then deal with the consequences, good or bad of those decisions, if I don't do that, they will suffer in this world, right? So it is my job as their father and coach to teach them and empower them to be able to make a decision and then go do that decision. And then, you know,
Graham Cochrane (37:35.284)
Learn from it, whether it's good or bad, and it's probably going to be a mixture. The same is true for you as a coach. When you do this, when you empower people, people leave your coaching calls and coaching sessions believing, I can do this. Not just hopeful that it's possible for them to change, but I can do this and I don't need other people to help me it. I can do this on my own. This is when coaching becomes transformational.
Right? So empathy, encouragement, and empowerment. Let's land it like this. When you empathize, people feel seen. When you encourage, they feel hopeful. And when you empower, they feel capable. And let's think about it. When someone leaves your presence feeling seen, hopeful, capable, you don't have to convince them that that was worth it.
every penny they paid, you will become an unforgettable, irresistible, indispensable coach in their world. And this will build you a pipeline of future clients and a pathway forward to being an in-demand coach forever without having to post on social media, follow all the trends, or run a bunch of ads. You become that
secret ninja person that has silently transformed all of these people's lives. And no matter who's loudest on the internet, your name is gonna be the name whispered behind closed doors, you gotta work with him. You gotta work with her. She's amazing. He's amazing. They changed my life. This is the type of coach you can become when you empathize, encourage, and empower.
Now, leave me a comment below and let me know which one of these three, if you're watching on YouTube, which one of these three you're gonna focus on more in your next coaching session. Is it more empathy? Is it more encouragement or more empowerment? Which one of those three? All three are great, but you decide which is the one you're gonna focus on in your next coaching session as you work your way to becoming an irresistible coach. I hope this helped you. I hope this blessed you.
Graham Cochrane (40:03.598)
I'll see you in another episode real soon.
